Sunday, April 27, 2003

The only word to describe my life at this point in time...it sucks....literally...dealing with unreasonable folks...brainless scum who always want to pick a fight...it simply dulls the brain...when it all starts coming onto me...I simply retreat into a daze...impervious to any external stimuli....

Lost girl

She walks alone
with nowhere to go
a saline tear
falls on her denim shirt
a cut runs across her cheek
dried blood drawn next to her lips
she stops to sit
on the side of the street
her hands are bruised
skin burning cold
patches of sore epidermis
a castaway soul
she embraces herself
biting the strands flaxen hair
bury the empty promises
in the cold silent air
she scorns her folly
she scorns her pain
fallen from grace
an angel without a name
a pretty picture but now torn
an abandoned child
with hope forlorn

I'm too tired to do anything...I'll close my eyes now...and pray for a dream...deliver me, my God, my salvation..Amen

Friday, April 18, 2003

Good friday...to the One who died for me...

X

A mark on my chest
is different from the rest
of the people who live
in this world of grief
a sign with a story
from hades to glory
revealing the scars
of Your sacrificial past

Your crown of thorns
with you all alone
open arms
and your bleeding palms
Was it worth it?
to have me freed?
you could have walked away
but you chose
to stay
mocking cries
malicious lies
you felt them all
made yourself fall
into darkness
giving hope
to my emptines

A dream of you
alive in my head
your illumine soul
back from the dead
you call out to me
from the far reaches of the sea
to ride the waves
it was me
that you came to save

Saturday, April 12, 2003

Here is a short account...inspired by my firefighting training at the civil defence academy...

Break-In

The house was in flames, dense black smoke emerging from the windows. We arrived at the scene at 1300hrs, receiving a distress call-a gas leak in the house led to a violent explosion. 3 civilians had sustained second degree burns, the fire had spread to the upper levels of the terrace house, and a young infant was trapped in one of the bedrooms. The mother was frantic, two of the paramedics had to restrain her, despite the severirty of her own injuries.

"Ok, we're going in. Joe you're ready?" Staff sergeant Ricardo, scene leader of the rescue operation gave a pat on my back. He was our instructor at the school, and taught us the fundamentals of handling conventional hazards. The training was tough, and this was my first live mission. He used to say that the source of fire were like the gates of hell, and we were to stare it square in the eye and slay the demon inside.

We donned our helmets. They were made of heat-resistant fiber glass, specifically designed for such situations. Our 13kg BA sets were already strapped tightly to our backs, to enable us to breathe as we penetrated deeper into the burning zone. I was the first hose man, so I stood beside Rick, while the other 9 men in our team were lined up from behind to support the weight of the water hose.

We approached the entrance of the house. I shot a jet spray, to diffuse the heat, and trace the source of the fire. Rick and two other men rushed into the mass of smoke. The surroundings were a virtual blur, with the flames flooding the entire hall and the heat stabbing deep into our jackets. The fire source was in the kitchen, but the kid was trapped up on the second level. Damn, we gotta get her out before this shit breaks out big time!My heart was pounding, my heavy breathing resounded within the confines of my head mask

We made our way through the stairs, everytime I had to clear the rollover smoke that was clouding our view from the celings. The cries seem to have travelled from the door to out left. Rick kicked the door opened, and there she was lyin in the crib. He felt her pulse, she was sufferin from mild asphyxiation. He took her up in his arms and ran out, while I tried to contain the fire within. We heard a voice vrom behind. "Sarge, impending flashover at ground floor... its the kitchen!" We were trapped. The fire had hit maximum intensity below and we were trapped on level 2.
"Cap, get support from team 2, we need to get out of here...now~!" Rick blared over the comset attached to his head. We pushed back from the room, down the stairs. The heat was excruciating. I held on tight to the hose and used the other hand to tap my body to relieve the discomfort. I turned towards the kitchen, while Rick stood behind me, attempting to make a break for the entrance and bring the child to safety. I shot the jet again, and the fire bit back, charging straight into our faces. We dodged low, to avoid the smoke, and got up to take our shot again. It was critical, we couldn't get out, I pulled the jet to full speed, the water striking the overhead fumes, but not the source itself. We couldn't take a non-solid source with water, it would only increase its intensity. Team 2 arrived with the foram sprays and delivered heavy shots into the source. five minutes....it was over. The smoke blocked our sight, red lights flashing on our BA sets, oxygen was running low. We had been stuck there for a total of 39 minutes.

We walked out of the house, Rick brought the kid to her mother, who was crying tears of relief. I took off my head mask and looked around. The rain had started to fall, the droplets resting on my scorched brow. Yeah, I was dead scared, but to all of us firefighters, it was just another day at work.

It's great to be back again...and I'm really tired...In camp, you train hard and when you sleep, you will dream only of pretty gals..hahaha

Sunday, April 06, 2003

Its Goodbye...for now

Just hours away from moving back into camp. The routine life of office hours are finally over, and so is the bliss of its freedom...many things have happened in the past few weeks, war , disease and yeah even the death of a gay movie star. But strangely, they don't seem to bother me. You can ask me, "Are you scared of dying?"..its just sheer paranoia. Life is beautiful, I've always believed it so. Its beautiful...not because I'm alive. It is beautiful, because I know that I will die.
I can smell the scent of a rose
I can taste my favourite food
I can see the beauty in a girl
I can run miles and be strong
I can sleep and live in dreams
I can write out my imagination
I can dive into the water and be free
and I can pray
knowing I will be heard

You see...death teaches us to treasure life..no matter how old we are. It helps us to face our fears, to pursue our dreams, to love those close to us, and to give thanks to the Man above.