Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Intermission v2.0

Fuse. I'm back again, with a thousand questions in my head. Finally, the anatomy of love is within my grasp. There is understanding, but no experience. I've stared hard into the pool of images, to conjure a being of my fancy,but that was all I could do. An empty vessel with no soul. Romance has lied to me, its not about admiration of beauty, neither is it the ephemeral feeling of pleasure. Abandon it all.

I saw a frail old lady
bound to a chair
She couldn't walk
Into my face she stared
All memory of me
lost in the prime of her youth
I remember the promise I made her
and I wonder
If I still can carry on
her smile,
her scent,
her kiss,
It fades away
I hold her hand
but she doesn't know me
only a shell remains,
it waits for the waters to bring it away
and I will follow

Monday, March 22, 2004

Sexual taxonomy
The great philosopher Aristiotle built a time machine and flew to this present year. I gave him a sexual placebo and lent him a copy of Playboy...He gave up his veterbrate research and promptly decided that the other gender needed a periodic table...He couldn't finish it though, he had to go back to his own time, but well... these were his findings as far as I can translate into modern anglophonics

The vixen
Manipulative, materialistic, cunning. She's the model, the seducer, the one who charms the greatest man and makes him fall. She goes for the superficial, the glamour. Hollywood...limousines and red carpet glitz...and yes real animal fur. You gotta look like Beckham and be as rich as Bill gates to get her attention. Of course, only the likes of mafia boss Al capone can tame her. She doesn't mind you two-timing, always game for threesomes or more, that is if you have the money and power to afford it. Unfortunately, she'll probably suck you dry of all resources, and then your sun sets. From then on, its "Bye bye loverboy...."

The beach babe
Ah...what is it with the sun sand and sea? Sporty, tanned, fit and more than often runs around in her sports bra and pair of Oakleys. Although the majority are lesbians, they are awesome in bikinis, perfect specimens for Sports Illustrated covers, and their athletic prowess sometimes can put their male counterparts to shame. They love challenges, and will look down on you if you can't beat them. Those interested personnel are to proceed to the nearest gym, or hire a professional trainer to get those lats, deltoids, triceps, biceps, pectorals abdominals and all the other muscular shit in shape. Bear in mind, aim the real gal, not the bootch.

The rock chick
The most aesthetically disturbed of the other gender. Totally aloof, dreamy and more than often, doesn't give a damn about school. Drinks for inspiration, and is perpetually undergoing break-ups with their guys. They wear the most mutilated jeans on the planet, complete with holes and frills, and their epidermal art (tatoos) can be rather tasteful. Body-piercing? They are smply addicted, even in those censored areas. They scribble poetry in their scrapbooks, practise yoga and play guitar throughout the night, and seriously all the music they make sounds the same. Be John Lennon Kurt Cobain, Axl Rose, Chester Bennington...and they will bleed for you. Think:Yoko Ono, Courtney love, Angelina Jolie.....

The nerd
Plain, spectacled, daughters of Einstein. Their IQs are too high for mere men to grasp, and they read books faster than the bookworm club can publish them. Going to libiraries are like clubbing to them, the pleasure is the same. Their basically boring, unless you wanna talk math, chemistry or any other form of acaedemia. Oh they love to surf the net, which makes them foolish victims for cyber-perverts. Their emotionally down, their level of intellect prevents them from picking emotional signals rather well, but they tend to have idols in the form of boybands, which frankly speaking is totally pathetic. If you really like them, you gotta be a MENSA member or something, and don't think dirty on them, you'll get their moms and dads chasing after you.

The princess
Adorable crybaby, extremely dependant, insecure, posessive, always wants to be pampered. Girls who have yet to grow into women. Chauvinists like them, cos they indulge in the protective nature of the male, to the extent to that all freedom for him is gradually suffocated. They love acting cute, and to make them happy you just go to your nearest toy store and buy really huge soft toys. If they say they like you they will compare you to some favourite furry animal. They are submissive, will listen to you as long as they don't have the slightest hunch you are cheating on them. Once inflicted with paranoia, they will flood your mailbox, SMS every 5 minutes and ask you all the stupid questions.

The Ice maiden
The old but horny philospher told me that Aphrodite gave birth to 2 daughters before she had Cupid. One embraced the darkness becoming the predecessor of the vixen. The other, contrived to harden her emotions and thus froze her heart. And so it seems, that her children still walk on this earth. Independant, cold, fiesty, strong-willed, almost self-sufficent. They have an element of strength, and sometimes men are intimidated by that aspect. They play the gme so well in their flings, you think their not serious at all, or you just dun have the right kinda stuff to break her mettle. If you're smitten, you gotta beg lady luck with everything you've got, cos all it takes is just one touch, one word, one moment, to break it ..to reveal the vulnerability, and she will cling on to you, like a child who has lost her way.

listening to Roxette-it must have been love

Tuesday, March 16, 2004

Dynasty of fools

"I've done my best, and I have no regrets..."

With these words, a simple, unassuming, downright unimpressive undergraduate from UCLA brought the whole of America to its knees. The rest, to everyone that reads this now, is merely history.
I wasn't puzzled, shocked or even impressed. Frankly, I still remain ambivalent to this subject because I see so much of myself in him. In a narcissistic world obsessed with glamour, looking good, feeling hip and with the every Beckham desiring his own Posh and vice versa, it seems treacherous for citizens of the spastic nation to intrude.
But intrude they did, and now the waves of their invasion are imminent. Goodbye superstar, you are only skin deep. You can be beautiful, talented and get all the candies of a metroplitan lifestyle, but nonetheless, what you have is superficiality of the highest order. Many people are deluded enough to think they are gods, they have what it takes to be big. This is not an aspect of ambitious dreaming, its just a chronic state of denial, a denial of who you really are.
Failure and rejection reveals a person's true nature. He didn't wimper or whine, not to mention bitch about Simon's caustic remarks. He got the big picture, he understood the outcome, and he took it all in, including the public humiliation that the media is so cruel to heap.
"The meek shall inherit the earth...."
These words reveal the paradox behind all human ambition in this sick world we live in. God loves to turn the tables, flip the coin, making the atheist believe in the existence of luck. Whatever others think highly of is nothing to him. Wiliam Hung's faith is none of my concern, but his example serves to remind me of this truth. It is time for me to give up the fruitless chase for riches and fame.

Thursday, March 11, 2004

Lost kingdom
Nostradamus
The muse
Zen
Time travel


Ideas...I will get back to you soon.

Monday, March 08, 2004

St George and the Dragon

It was night, the crescent moon smiling upon the black city of Silene. The old cathedral, at the center of the square, was strangely illuminated from within. The members of Order Jacobius had retired to their residences, leaving a sole acolyte to perform a litany of the evening prayers. He was clothed in a scarlet robe with a hood over his head, to hide his face from the presence of the Holy Mother, whose image was erected upon the ivory altar in the sanctuary. He was mumbling vehemently, the dim candles revealing cold drops of sweat on the skin of his upper lip.
The acolyte lifted his gaze towards the statue, whose outstretched arms bore a sense of warmth to welcome him into her divine embrace. This time, he was to be denied solace for his soul, for from her eyes flowed crimson tears of blood. Gripped by fear, he lay paralyzed on the ground, the hollow wind sniffing out the candles that stood by the sides of the pews. Darkness engulfed him, and he heard a voice, the voice of the Holy mother. He knew not if the statue or his heart had held him in deceit
Hearken, my child! Beware the hunger of the Beast!
The tall wax candles were lit once again, and the acolyte fled from the sanctuary, screaming in madness.



The palace of the Libyan monarch was embellished in distinct opulence. The walls of the King's court were adorned with paintings of heroes and saints of lore, and its marbled floor was partitioned with gold . Tapestries of apocryphal verses hung by the side of the throne. It was a magnificent place, but a vision from an acolyte brought the monarch grim tidings.
The king sat on his throne, his head perched on his fist. His wrinkled face was worn from countless wars. His eyes were dim, with the long hair of his brow covering them. His ruffled beard was long and grey, still his weariness failed to erode his health, for his sagged cheeks still retained their tanned radiance.
Cardinal Lucien walked in and bowed low before the king. He was a pious subject of unique intellect and cunning, which earned him honor among the avaricious nobles and the militant feudal lords in the kingdom. He had heard the news of the nocturnal apparition from his acolyte, whom he ordered locked up in the dungeon until his hysteria had abated.
"My Lord, it seems the nature of the matter has caused you deep unrest?" the cardinal closed his eyes and smiled.
"It does not bode well..." The king sighed. "Remember the time when we failed to take heed of the soothsayers prophecies? Our land was inflicted with ten long years of famine!"
"Yes my Lord, it is of the greatest urgency that the Beast which threatens our peace be obliterated, but we know not its dwelling, and who possesses the courage to slay it?"
The king rose from his throne and cried in despair. "Is it now that we have foreseen our doom?"
"My king, my king!" The tall steel door of the King's court was flung open, and a messenger, clothed in drabs of tattered cloth, staggered in and fell before the king.
"Massacre...All of them...Women and children of my village....It is an abomination..!" the man broke down in tears, breathing heavily.
Lucien knelt before the king and clutched his aged feeble palm. "Rest assured my Lord, for I will not rest until this curse is lifted from our land!" The cardinal hastily took his leave, and headed for the dark haunted village.



Mutilated bodies were scattered on the ground, terror struck the countenance of the corpses, as if they beheld the face of the Devil himself. Houses, made of stone and wood, were torn down or burnt to smoking ashes. The stallion that bore the cardinal on his flight to the village, trembled as it approached the Dead.
Lucien was appalled. He closed his eyes and saw the anguish of the victims. All his wisdom could not alleviate the despair that dominated the land.
"My son, o' my son, what ails you?" came a soft gentle voice.
Lucien strained his eyes into the woods. It was a shape of a woman, and she seemed to be walking closer, but the mist covered her face from him.
"The One with the mark of the Dragon shall be the redemption of your people" the voice echoed within Lucien's soul. He gazed towards the sky and smiled.
"The Divine has spoken...." He pulled in the reins and rode away.


The village of Attica, north of Silene, was dominated by the Gauls, a Germanic tribe renowned for their violence and cruelty. George of Clemens was a blacksmith, a man who spent his days forging blades upon the anvil. His mood was foul, for he annoyed all who lived near him. Even among the babarians, the man with the mark of the dragon on his chest was a pure lowbred, a crude beast unworthy of their acquaintance.
It was evening, and the black steed of the cardinal stopped in front of the blacksmith's workshop. Lucien had finally found what he wanted.
"Greetings my friend.."The cardinal dismounted and gave a decent bow.
George gave a menacing stare at the civilized visitor. He was clothed in a dark robe, upon his neck was a crucifix of bronze. George was filled with contempt for clerics who came to proselytize. The blacksmith ceased hammering and lifted the steel blade, glowing in bright amber. He dipped it into the bucket, and it cooled to a loud simmer, fumes filling the stale, rusted air.
"I am no friend of yours, but if its a damned soul you're looking for, you have come to the right place" George turned away from the cardinal, and cleaned his scalded palms with a damp woolen cloth.
"Nay my friend, but a deed worth ten thousand gold maybe of interest to you?" The cardinal smiled. He knew the desires of the man's heart, it was darker than hell itself.
"Hah! A mercernary eh?" there was a sardonic tone to George's voice. "You must be one of the ancient Pharisees!"
Lucien laughed, and it startled the blacksmith, who assumed the bout of mockery would have unshackled the cardinal's wits.
"You have cravings, don't you?" Lucien stared hard into George's face. "There are ghosts of the past that you have tried to kill. They still haunt your dreams don't they? Remember the time you were a child, and you saw its face within the cave...."
George clenched his fist, threw himself at Lucien and gripped the cardinal's shoulders in violent outrage. He was a huge man of immense stature, molded from years of working on the blades.
"Who are you and what do you want?" his voice was soft, but it was one of insanity, a forgotten wound within his psyche had been torn open once again.
"You...You are the one the prophecy spoke about. You saw the beast! Your parents were ravaged by it. Now is your time for revenge."
George's eyes burned with unquenchable hatred. The cardinal had found him, the child who faced the Beast and lived, for his time had not yet come. It was night in the cave. His parents, were nomads who resolved to spent the night away from the violent storm. Deep within the heart of the cave, it came and it tore them apart, man and wife, taking them away from him...He neither cried nor trembled, but he saw it, its face its power. It raised its claws to maim him, but the mark on his chest caused it to move away, as if it saw a symbol of power greater than itself. The child took hold of his father's sword, and walked away.
"It has returned...." George put his hands down. "I have waited long enough for this day. Take back your offerings of gold and silver. For I will not rest until I have sought it out and slain it with my father's own blade. This is my solemn oath to you."
"Very well...It lies in the woods of Libya, that was where our townsfolk perished." The dark rain clouds had congregated upon the land as claps of thunder resonated over the sky. The cardinal rode swiftly away upon his horse, leaving George alone in deep contemplation. He went in to his room and opened the old wooden chest. In it lay the blade his father named and wielded as a warrior. It was a magnificent weapon, the steel held its luster and shine, the amber hilt was crafted to perfect symmetry. George took hold of the sword, he could feel the fury burning within, his heart joined to the sole memory of that night in the cave.


The journey to the Libyan woods was long and arduous. George crossed the Storm mountains, whose black peaks were buried in snow, and the strong winds relentlessly impeding his quest. He traveled with little, a knapsack for food and his sword slung on his bag was all the blacksmith carried.
He reached the Libyan woods after thirty days. It was once an enchanted abode, where beast of every kind could find their rest, and graze the fields during the first blooms in spring. Now all was left were charred corpses and dead oaks, and the specter of death filled the air with its stench.
There was a solitary path bearing the footprints of the Beast. The flora and fauna around it had been trampled to deformity. The path streaked far into the foot of a hill, according to the Cardinal, the cave beneath was the dwelling of the Beast. George made every move with great caution, fearing his footsteps would arouse the fury of the enemy.
A shuffling noise within the bushes aroused his attention. He peered hard into the thick undergrowth behind him. He was being followed. It was not the Beast, for the creature was small, and had mustered the art of concealment. Its two eyes glowed in the darkness, and when it knew it had been unconvered, it stepped out of the bushes to face the blacksmith.
It was a satyr, a goat-man. One of the ancient creatures that old men spoke of in tales. It had the face of a man, but it had horns and a goat's body. It walked with a strange limp, for its hooves could not hold the weight of its shoulders.
"By the Gods!" George exclaimed. "The likes of your kind were only heard in stories told by charlatans!"
"Nay, my friend," replied the creature. "We have learnt to hide away from Man, because his mind has become deluded to the effects of our power. Nevertheless, your desire for the creature has led me to you."
The creature grinned menacingly at the sword on his back. The look in its eyes greatly disturbed the him. George grabbed hold of the creature's neck and held it up in the air. The satyr struggled in pain, its green eyes turning a bluish pale.
"Now tell me, what is your intention?"
"Mercy!!" gasped the creature, choking in his own words. "Mere strength alone will not destroy it! Only the blood of my race upon your blade will overcome!" Its legs were kicking wildly in the air.
George put the creature down. He felt a strange pity for it. The creature was right, they were a dying race, hidden away from the ambitions of man. The satyr took his sword, and slashed its own wrist. An emerald radiance grew from the blade
"It is done," the creature said, and leapt away into the shadows.


He wanted to call for the creature, but it had vanished from sight. It was getting dark, and the mouth of the cave was up ahead. He had no light to start a fire, but years of wandering had adapted him to walking in the night.
There came a roar, and tremors shook the ground, causing George to momentarily lose his foothold. He gripped the hilt of his sword, and it shone with the light once more, guiding the path ahead of him. He bolted towards the cave, and at the mouth, before him, stood the Beast.
It was clothed in black scales. It possessed a towering neck that soared high up into the hill, but craned down to face him. Its breath was of fire, and its eyes the gateway to hell itself. It spread its wings, embedding the woods in darkness.
It rained fire on George, and he dodged the flames, rolling on the ground. The claws of the Beast smote him, and he struck his sword to fend of its attacks, the light of the blade glowing with greater power every moment the Beast laid eyes on it. He hacked off its right limb, and the Beast screamed in madness, spitting flames of anguish. The abdomen, it was exposed. He pierced the sword into it, and the blood spilled out into his face.
The beast struggled violently. It flung him away, his head hitting the trunk of a bald oak tree by the hill. As the emerald light pierced from its body, it shriveled, wings peeling away into dust, the body decapitated with a violent explosion.
George opened his eyes. It was dawn. Sunlight penetrated the forest canopy and for the first time in many years, green leaves sprouted anew from the dark tall trees that once haunted the woodlands of Libya.

Thursday, March 04, 2004

The Hard truth

For the first time in 8 years, I am truly feeling the guilt of something I did to a friend.
It is a blatant irony, because this time there was no quarrel, no reprimand, not even a guy to guy "let's talk it out" session. A message on my mobile spoke it all. Curiosity killed the cat, and the cat died hard.
Many times I was told off by them, of my attitude, my actions and my words, but I stubbornly did not give a damn.

You may feel I'm being self-righteous, arrogant or even proud. But when all the memories of humiliation and mockery and ill-treatment return to haunt me, my conscience just fails to convince me of those faults. I suffered much to be part of them, if it was anyone else he would have murdered the whole bunch of them long ago. Every time an issue occured, I always seem to be the one giving in, eating the humble pie, including its crumbs below the table. Like what a veteran seaman told me in the Gulf, "In such situations, when every single one of them has made a mistake....the smallest fuck gets the blame" I do not know how much I mean to each of them, after all that we've been through. But as far as the gang is concerned, I still am, and always will be the eunuch of their amusement.

I wanted to prove my dad wrong. I wasn't going to drift away no matter what. We are like blood brothers, I used to tell him. Unfortunately, it only took one mistake to show me just how vulnerable everything was. That thin line between love and friendship. Probe into it, attempt to fuse the 2 together, and all hell comes to your doorstep. If one really counts the mistakes we've done to each other, I bet he did not suffer as much as I did. Even when he was wrong, all they could tell me was:
"You should have put it in a better way!"
"He's like that, you should have known better..."
"Why are you not tactful??"
"You're an embarrassment to yourself!"
"When will you ever learn??"

They have got used to each other's nonsense, shit and everything. It has become part of our lives. As for my straight-in-your-face no pretense, style of engagement is concerned, it will forever remain the sin of the century. Yes...its my fault, it always is..


Monday, March 01, 2004

I'm still working on my latest story...so please be patient with all these works dug out from the lost passages of time. It sometimes amazes me how ideas are born. Serendipity to me, means the writing of inspiration in the wind. This came while I was listening to a Japanese song by DAI (Do As Infinty)...till today i wondered how it helped me get the picture from total space. Maybe it was always there...waiting for the right melody to fit it all in place

Angel without wings

Long time ago, when the manifestations of our finite imaginations were stark objects of reality, there lived in a beautiful garden an angel. From heaven she came, radiant and clothed in innocence. At dawn she opened her eyes, and the dew would spring from the earth. The ground she walked turned into a bed of flowers. As she flew in the air, an array of butterflies would awake to greet her. She blessed the trees, and they bore fruit that shone with the light of the stars. She dwelt in the garden all her days, and it was filled with boundless joy and bliss akin to her beauty.
Along the Great River, there lived a young boy. His father was a shepherd, and each morning he would bring the flock out to graze the fields of the land. His mother spent her days cooking and knitting warm clothing for the family. The boy was left alone for most of the time, and he enjoyed fishing by the banks of the river. As time passed he wondered what lay beyond it, for the world he knew was small and he yearned to explore the boundaries of the vast world, collecting rare treasures and experiencing great adventures.
The boy grew to be a man, and everyday his heart was bound to the lands beyond the Great River. On the coming of age, he bid his parents farewell and built a boat to take him across the waters. His mother, wrought with grief at his departure, left these words for him, � My son, it pains my soul to see you go, to embark on this journey into the Netherlands, but it is said, that at the edge of the horizon lies a garden shrouded in beauty and enchantment, many have searched for it but none have returned. Do not go there, for I fear that doom will descend upon you.�
But he had resolved to set sail and he replied, �Do not grieve, for legend or truth that land may be, it is by my own destiny to take this arduous journey. Farewell, beloved mother.� That was the last she saw of her son that very day.
For days the man sailed the vast waters of the Great River. He slept little, for even at night he would stay up to gaze at the stars, praying that he would one day find new land. The water nymphs sang to him, and their music brought peace and comfort to his weary body. He would drift into deep slumber and dream of his home, his parents, and the life he left behind.
Months passed, and one morning his boat entered into a thick veil of mist. It covered the road that lay before him, so he knew not of where he was going. The boat moved slowly and it finally came to a halt. The air was still, and the fog began to clear, revealing a land filled with rose bushes along its shore. In front of the boat stood a pathway aligned with oak trees raised towards the skies. The man stepped out and walked towards the gate of trees. He had finally reached the garden isle.
The sun began to set. The path led to a field surrounded by a hedge embellished with flowers of every kind. At the center stood a woman, and she smiled at him. Her hair was bright gold; it shone with the light of the sun. Her blue eyes carried the memory of the ocean during the forging of the world. Fair as the twilight she was, and on her back she bore a pair of wings, whiter than the clouds that hovered the skies above.
He called to her, and she beheld his gaze. She had lived a solitary existence in this haven for countless lifetimes, feeling neither pain or sorrow and free from the bondage of death. Though he was mortal, her heart went out to him, for the curse of love had bound their souls the moment their eyes met. Long were their days and sweet was the union of their love. But she was immortal, while the chains of Death tied his life. When his days ended, she pleaded with Death not to take him away, for she had loved him deeply and could not bear to let him go.
� I implore you! Do not bring him to the realm of the dead, where darkness covers his eyes and his soul would never awaken.� She begged.
But Death smiled and replied, �Isn�t it appointed to man their doom, that they should live and depart from this world, to let their physical bodies return to dust and their souls to be laid to rest? He has given you his love, a love that is eternal in memory�, and Death took the man�s soul and left.
She stood by his lifeless body and tears rolled down her eyes. Her hands caressed his cold, pale face. The angel closed her eyes. A cold wind blew across the garden isle, causing the feathers of her wings to turn to ice. Her wings cracked and shattered into tiny white fragments. The wind grew colder. The trees, shrubs and flowers that once adorned the beautiful garden withered and died. Seraphim came and gathered the fragments into the sky, but the sky could not hold them, thus they fell to the earth every year, glistering white. The people of later ages called them �snow�.