The Old world, the New World and the Myth....

"So here I'm back again ranting over society's bane. I just can't seem to get over the effects of change, the ills of living in an urban, cosmopolitan city. I know many of my closest friends will think I'm a jerk, but I really can't help myself"

It has been 8 long years. We all have taken different paths, and the fact that we've been together for so long can only be attributed to a single person. Without him, we would all drift away, there will be nothing to hold us back together anymore.

Through our union of friendship, time has planted a viral diversity, and it slowly detaches us from the bond. We deny it, pretend it doesn't happen, but it is there all the time, like maggots eating
a body to decay.

The Old World
The both of you cling on to the proud traditions of brotherhood, anachronisms long discarded for their irrelevance to modernity. You uphold the shamanistic beliefs in God and life, embracing religion and faith, but treating it with the same zeal and allegiance. Financial success is not of praramount importance in your lives for you think or assume that blessings will be the rewards of your blind loyalty. Your families have raised you well, but they are poor and they would not partake of your spirituality, because your efforts of service reap not the profits needed, nor the filial piety they expect from you. It is no surprise if they deem you childish and irresponsible. The sad but painful truth is this, you have given everything you have not to God, but to an establishment, a community of leaders who do not even know you exist, who paint the deity according to their deluded whims.

"The God I know has a mind of his own, and he will not be manipulated by conceited charlatans."

The New World
The 3 of us, what can I say? We have emerged unscathed from the catalysm of evolution, but are stigmatized by the reality of it. We see the world as it is, in a series of causes and effects and have used them to our advantage. Glamour, wealth and success are tangible aspects of our lives. We have opened our minds to liberal trends, and thus we judge not the principles, but seek to justify the grey areas. We appear to be magnanimous, philanthropists, but the we are simply applying the laws of hypocrisy. Can I fully ascertain what each and everyone of us lives for? My efforts have been futile, we enjoy picking on the faults of others, but we nurse grudges against those who admonish us, even if it is for own good. Do we still have a conscience? Or has it been tarnished by our selfish intentions??

"I look at myself and wonder, what has become of me? Have I become a spineless, conniving worm? Forever dammed to lick someone's filthy boots for the sake of money and status? Has knowing them become my undoing? They devise excuses for the injustices they commit against others. I am met with persecution whenever I take a stand, whenever Conscience screams into my head, and I can take it no more."

The Myth
In the days before the dawn of this century, when we were young and united, we respected you. You were everything we wanted but couldn't have, looks, charisma, courage and even an uncanny intellect with the ways of the world. You took on the mantle of a leader, and we followed you wherever you went. But sadly, her departure marked your downfall, and like all great empires, so was your reputation and our regard for you. You buried yourself deeper in vices of self-destruction, and desired only to pursue fruitless dreams to drag your body out of physical and emotional poverty. Sometimes, superstition forces us to believe you still have that spark of divinity, the identity of you being "special', the miracle waiting to happen.......

The "crotchet"

The last few days were spent reflecting on the thoughts and experiences gained throughout the past few years. Indeed there were empty pages to my book of life, wasted endeavors and habitual failures which many times I do not desire to remember. There were also dreams and ambitions that I once cherished, but are now slowly eroding due to the cynicism of reality. There were friends I once had, or I thought I had, but are gradually fading beyond memory.

The glare of a life returned to me is painful. It has been two years serving a cause I do not believe in, giving of myself for the sake of others. Ironically, these are the moments where your true character surfaces, in varying emotional extremities that you question your identity, and develop a better sense of who you are.

The term, 'living without regret' is nothing but a white lie to me. Why should one believe in something the invokes a continuous state of denial? Why is there a need for justification? The intrinsic controversy of humanity is its ability to devise absolute "truths" or "principles" and betray them at the same time. Selfish pragmatism has become the philosophy of the 21st century. Arriving on that point, does it even matter to have principles, to live with an impartial, theoretical code of ethics?

The gift of knowledge is a catalyst for both progress and decay. Its machinations have not just made life better for everyone, they have propagated greater social evils. The evolution of the human mind revolves faster than that of the heart. We are still the same old souls, with carnal instincts and needs and an ever present vacuum that can never be truly filled. Emptiness is like the wind, one can feel it, but can never see it.

The feeling of love remains an enigma that I dread being entangled. Someone I love dearly told me that when we give our life to others, we will find ourselves. It does explain the relationship between depth and pain-the deeper you are the harder you fall. The breakaway yields the most heartache, solely because one has placed part of him or her onto the significant other.

The purpose of life is simple. The Maker has ordained basic tenets of living the we should abide, and they are all written in the pages of our conscience, but sadly we allow our imperfection to tarnish it.

The commandments of self

I am getting more lonely as I grow older. True friends are hard to find, trust me.

I believe boredom is the mother of failure.

I am 22, if I do not learn how to be more independant financially, I really think I'm not being filial

I do not have much time to think about my future. It is now or never

I have a non-existent love life. Blame it on my best friends

I will work my way out of middle-class poverty. I want my parents to have a comfortable life

I believe money is not everything, but in reality, wealth does answer alot of questions

I was born weak, thus I have to learn things the hard way

I know a life in materialistic greed results in perpetual poverty

I have learnt to accept failure, dejection and criticism as my close friends

I am never suicidal, but if someone does it bad, I may just feel like killing him

I think silence and solitude are the best from of meditation. You think more and become more aware

I am on the verge of writing a few people off. They should pull up their socks before its too late

I want to travel the world once more, to discover and understand the things I have not seen

I desire to increase my flexibility and spatial sensitivity.

I promise to write a book about my Muse before I die.

I want to see and know God, to be close to him and see the truth through his eyes, no matter what.