Class of 2005

Truth be told, I was never the popular guy in class. At 14, with long curly hear and braces, everything you did or say just made you an outcast. You found a gang to belong to, and yes you're proud to be part of the bortherhood of Nod. Sadly, you're still their public clown of amusement, with nothing much in common except an 8 year commitment of loyalty.
Step into polytechnic, and the hypocrites in white lab coats simply look like fallen angels with iodine-stained wings. They smile at you and tell you how good a friend you are. Behind you're back, they draw their knives and make sure you bleed...real hard.

GD always warned me to trust no one. 'Never reveal your true self too quickly' he used to say. If one opened up to the wrong people, rejection and isolation would follow suit. I doubted that the world had honesty. I wondered why people had to put on a mask. I wondered if lovers could leave you and friends could betray you, then what meaning would there be in this insane world we live in.

So I've grown cynical over many things, and I question God about them when I pray every night. Faith has its controversies, but with regards to friendship, to bonding and having brothers, sisters and even 'scandals' around me, I just know the man Above never takes without giving us something better. Life has always come full circle for me. Just when I thought I was never going to get out of the dark, the end of the road was welcomed by a most fantastic ray of light. It was the very thing GD predicted 8 years ago.

God has brought all these 'slippers' into my life. Thanks people, for being there.

Visited countries map

Hey Nicky...this is so cool. Totally love it. I am trying to travel from the center of the world. Anyone game for some Afghan action??

Kamikaze online

6pm, after a gruelling psychology paper, worn out and on the verge of breakdown.

I don't have a good feeling about this, credibility is not the issue of concern. All the failed efforts going down the drain, and the predictions spinning out of control. Hail apocalypse now, let's try elevated revolutions for a rapture. Right now, I am waiting for the semantic links for my psychological texts to decay, before I obtain a clean tabula rasa (white board) to work on communications. Nevertheless, I am still suffering from a unipolar state of dejection because highly literate dopes have exposed their untainted idiocy by screwing up my paper. If hypomania is my cure, I believed it faded the minute I mentally murdered my Muse.

In less than a day I would have slipped the ink over the last word under the strain of numb fingers. Its quite amazing if tech-dependant closet nerds like me convert to the lifestyle of the baroque period. Hike back down to the romance of Mozart and mechanical clocks, where life was simple and thoughts were rich. Perhaps if I cultivate long enough, I can achieve like literary Nirvana like cyberpunk author Neal Stephenson. He wrote thousands of pages of his novels on a fountain pen, probably due to the technophobic dreams he contracted

Time flies, I will honestly miss many folks, whom I won't get to see next year. It will be a more boring, uphill struggle after the summer vacation, with less fun and gossip. So feel like getting away now and bury myself under a huge angsana tree, reading City of God by St Augustine and Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. Now for terminal acknowledgements, to the people that mattered over the year.

Mama Dee, for the noise and dumb irrational ramblings. I miss studyin at your balcony, and please no more illegal flirting...or I'll make your porn movie
Tushar, anymore extensions and you're gonna be reincarnated into an ancient brahmin.
Jasper, dancing king, over seventeen, with peanut shells thrown by teens. Thanks for being the hommie you are. We're the pinky n the brain!! hahaha ok...bad joke
Luke, yeah the testimonial was sad, but I hope you felt it honest. Let's put the past behind, because there's so much more to look forward to
Sam, for being eyes for my scandals and ears to my ramblings coupled with irrational thoughts. Your silence is golden, your magic can change the world..No worries, one day I will make sure you pilot for me n ma dream gal
Nicholas, the diva, for makin the effort to drop by my workplace just to lift my sedated mood, n for being there for ma gers too, whenever they climb on top of my head
Kylie, ma dearest sista n mamasan intern. I'm so happy to see you back in action, living life without those silly emo frills. I will cycle down to your place for steamboat yah!!
Lil lizzie...don't let me catcha sellin DVDs at pat pong!!!
Biggie Liz...do you have any friends who are hot caucasian babes less than 1.65 in height?? Oh yah, I wanna get your cottage in Germany!
To ma angels (Jen, keryn, mel nicole): I never ordered anythin from the stork, but he dropped these gals onto my doorstep. Blessing OR burden?? you decide...LOL (okies individual testimonials are coming soon...so stop bitchin!!)

Going down

I haven't had the time to repair my world. Even a single revolution round the sun is never enough. The fever burned in my head, the mucus stuck in my nose, and now my voice is stolen. Ideas, formulas and unspoken words visit my cough-filled slumber. I just want to break free from the old chains of monotony, and fly free again. I believe my intensity has taken its toll on my health, I do need to put all pressures aside, and ponder on the problem of pain.

At times, I get tired being Big Brother. You know, the secrets of the world resting on my tiny shoulders? It's no longer about cliques or gangs or even like-minded people coming together. Everyone is vulnerable, and I am no exception. I think, I worry, I fear yet I attempt to overcome. Sometimes I do, at times I need a touch of providence. If people want to know more people, its cool with me, but no way will I see fools gettin their fingers burnt, girls' frail hearts bleeding and a million whispers of sweet-nothings in the innocent name of friendship. It makes the bonds we have made stink of raging hormones.

I watched a show on TV. 2 men were after a girl's heart. One was her first love, who came back to her. The other was an ice-hockey player she loved. Her first love found out about the other relationship, and abused her. Did he have a right to be angry, after leaving the girl alone for so long? In the light of this scene, I wondered if it was ethical to sweep away a heart that belonged to someone else. What is fair in love and war?

Well I've taken a sabbatical from my imperial duties. Thanks again to the PM, who has expressed empathy for my personal constraints. I hope to resume my duties in office once my exams are over, although it will be twilight in the Forbidden City. We're all gettin old, and the myths we were years back are fading like the setting sun.