Bitter vanity (in memory of Constance Chee)

You were born in beauty,
with stars to grace your head,
with gentle hands upon your face.
Your pride grew with time,
with the idol of your image,
the love of your own glamor.
You were the madonna of youth
with colors that paled,
the simplicity of those around you.
Your lovers were gods,
with silver tongues of pleasure
the satisfaction of your primal desire.

Yet you faltered,
like a flower withered,
by the glimpse of reality.
You saw mirrors,
without your face,
bearing smiles of passionate deceit,
with emptiness falling in.
You had lost yourself,
a scream shut within a glass,
a ballad of infinte sadness.

St Joel
January 2006

Highlight of the week

'Her eyes are like the water'

Forget about the bad press that says she's a stuck up bitch.

Forget about the magazine reviews that say it paints false a picture.

Forget about the your own expectations in the midst of all the hype.

Forget about nationalists complaining chinese are acting as japanese

Just remember the beauty of this film. You will know why I want to give sweet ice to little girls in Kyoto.

X-Men 2006
Director: Nicky 'Ice-Man' Zee
Writing Credits: Prof Joel Xavier
Bonus Features:
1) Director's cut and commentary
2) Casting
3) personal copyright disclaimers
4) plot spoofs and summaries



It dawned upon the producers as they were working on their own blogs: "Wouldn't it be cool if we were mutants?" Ok, not those disfigured, mentally impaired genetic variations that have been exposed to atomic bombs, but gorgeous-looking kids with superhuman powers. Imagine adamantium claws tearing out of your skin, invoke weather changes when your pupils dilate, or sexier, inherit a guy's strength just by kissing him. It amazed us at how these comic creations by Lee & Kirby could have such mindblowing powers but still retain their humanity. I mean, if I could read minds, I will never be as noble as Charles Xavier! Therefore we concluded that behind everyone, there lies the desire to be more than what our own human side allows us. So here you go, the first ever roster for the gifted youngsters.

Professor X (Joel)
He is bald, he is lame (physically), he reads minds and creates mental illusions. The founder of the gifted school and mentor to the X-men, he is a calm leader who advocates the political and intellectual freedom for all mutants. Professor X is also well versed in genetics and ethics which enable him to mediate on all issues of the mutant phenomenon.
Director's comments: In all humble opinion, I wanted to be Nightcrawler, but Nicky added that my prominence fits this character better. Girls, don't worry I can walk and I don't read minds. As for the rest of the qualities I have, kindly approach the producers for assistance. Thanks



Cyclops (Samuel)
The de-facto leader of the X-men, Cyclops was the son of a USAF pilot. During a leisure flight with his parents, the plane was attacked by an alien spaceship. Although he escaped, he suffered considerable nerve damage, which explains his inability to control his sporadic ocular blasts. However under the tutelage of Professor X, he rose to become the most trusted of all the X-men. His romance with Jean Grey culminated in their marriage, which became a kind of tragedy when she was re-born as Phoenix. In the movie, Cyclops is an Oakley fan, both the 2 pairs of shades he wore were custom-made visors. Pretty neat stuff, for those piercing eyes.
Director's comments: Sam's the big brother to most of the kids in the group. He's the strong silent type that you can count on. We deliberated if he should take Gambit, since he's good with card tricks, but still, the comic version of the Cajun is a player haha.


Wolverine (Jasper aka Weapon Chew)
Logan is the the grand icon in the X-universe. No Wolverine, no X-men, that is how pivotal the adamantium clad mutant is. By far one of the most primal and brutal of the mutants, he also possesses an extraordinary healing factor which enables him to recover quickly from his injuries. He's full of angst, and it shows whenever he's locked in combat. His origins have so far been controversial. He was once the subject in the Weapon X project, where he was severely exposed to physical and psychological trauma. Logan spent a great deal of his childhood in the presence of wolves, giving him feral instincts and ultra-keen senses. Shortly after joining the X-men, he developed feelings for Jean Grey, which formed into a complicated love triangle with Cyclops.
Director's comments: We were hesitant at first about casting Pika for the role, since Wolvie was the grand icon. Still, who can match 'the beast within' other than our very own dancing machine?


Jean Grey aka Phoenix (Yuping)
When little Jeanie Grey experienced her best friend's violent death inside her own mind, her life changed forever. With telekinetic powers that almost drove her into a fatal coma, the pretty, quiet and studious Jean was enrolled in Xavier's school for the gifted youngsters, where she met Scott Summers, who would become her husband. Complications arose through the entry of Wolverine and her re-birth as Phoenix. According to the comic story & movie, she protected the rest of the team members from a solar storm using her telekinetic powers, sacrificing herself in the process. Later on she acquired the phoenix power, but was not able to control it, thus causing her to turn against the X-men instead.
Director's comments: This character was perfect for Apple. She's older and wiser than the other girls on our list. Looks like a scared child, with a wicked streak lurking inside. We are definitely waiting for more scandals.


Beast (Ken)
Big, blue but brainy. Nope its not a cliche, but rather an intelligent mutant with a heart of gold. Born Hank McCoy, Beast was the child of nuclear scientist parents, who rejected him for his uniqueness. Due to his beastly appearance and superior athletic powers, he was a social outcast for most of his teenage years. However, under the guidance of Professor X, he has used his powers and intellectual abilities for the creation of a better world, for both man and mutant. A classic renaissance man, Beast is well versed in a wide variety of subjects, ranging from music to linguistics. He enjoys playing the piano and composing his own classical works
Director's comments: It's our Big bro Ken's sensitivity and sweetness that won him the role. Of course he's big size also lah. He's also perceptive when it comes to difficult issues like everyone's favorite blue mutant.


Storm (Keryn)
Be very afraid of this woman, she can be more unpredictable than the weather. As the princess of a tribe in Africa, Ororo munroe was revered by the people of her continent as the goddess of the weather. Her powers at controlling the rain clouds and directing the lightning bolts have made her a powerful addition to the team. Her lineage is rather unique too, she's the descendant of the only race of white haired-Africans. Her parent's death at a young age caused Storm to be claustrophobic, thus she enjoys flying in the open air, where she can cast her formidable powers as well.
Director's comments: Ker isn't as tall as the comic book heroine, but her tan complexion and love for the great outdoors make her the ideal specimen. So maybe a shot at the white haired bride as well? We'll see..


Iceman (Nicky)
The coolest hero ever, Bobby Drake is endowed with the ability to emanate ice. He can even project and fire ice cubes and missiles from his body with immaculate ease. The best thing is, he has mastered his powers to the extent where he won't accidentally freeze himself anymore. In the movie, he is dating Rogue and gets jealous when Wolverine shows up, because she has a slight affection for him. He does get to kiss his love interest, and she picks his powers up by breathing cold air to freeze stationary objects. Ain't that romantic?
Director's comments: Nicky bro, this one's customized for you. I mean, you do have that young spunk that the character potrays, with the added sensitive charm to make it look so coooool *grins*


Rogue (Nicole)
Little is known of the orphan who could assimilate external powers just with the touch of her hand. She ran away from home at an early age, only to be adopted by the evil mutant Mystique. During that time she befriended a handsome dude called Cody Robbins who gave her the first kiss and the first experience of her mutant powers. Once their lips touched, she absorbed all his strengths, memories and consciousness, putting the stud into a permanent coma. She was part of Mystique's evil team of mutants, and fought against the X-men on numerous occasions. However, she was unable to control her powers fully. After being haunted by the memories of her victims, whose powers she had acquired, she eventually turned to Professor X, who took her in despite facing disapproval from the rest of the team.
Director's comments: Ah, remember the streak of dyed hair on her fringe and her feisty spirit? That's what Nicole is all about, the fierce bad-girl who can cripple gladiators just by kissing them.


Jubilee (Mel)
Born in Beverly Hills California, where all the bling blings make their home, Jubilation Lee never had a smooth going childhood. Her parents were murdered by hitmen while she was competing in a gymnastics competition. She discovered her mutant powers while residing in an orphanage. Initially her abilities were pretty harmless, since she used her energy blasts to create fanciful fireworks. However, a mutant hunting syndicate deployed sentinels to hunt her down. Fortunately, she was rescued by Rogue and Storm while they were shopping in the mall, who later brought her to Professor Xavier's school. She looks up to Wolverine and has been found alongside him on his travels.
Director's comments: The unassuming bubble-gum gal with sparkles and bright colors. Who else fits the bill???

Personal disclaimer: All comments are fiction, any resemblance to any characters living or dead is more than a coincidence. Actual plot information are not in Italics, and the actors have been chosen according to parallel guidelines with the story and their individual personalities

Wishes of instinct

I have to stress this again: Glutinous rice and afternoon naps give you the strangest dreams.

Nothing is new the past few days. Rain has been falling hard on my estate, I still have piles of books to read, the TV only has purple shades and fashion idiots intend to start a clothing business. The only thing that is worth a delight is my mother's pasta. Right, so this means I must write this quickly and do my jump-rope workout for one hour before loading all those delicious carbs.

I managed to defer my reservist training for this year, which means that I may be abducted by the government to sail to India next year. It is better that way, I will be on the brink of graduation and a trip to the Taj Mahal with exotic dancers by the pool would definitely perk me up from the stress. Oh yah, I need to laminate and preserve my equator certificate, I'm not going to worship Neptune again by drinking a rotten blend of overnight juice and urine. The subcontinent is above that dreaded line, but when you're onboard and you're not the skipper, life in the open sea is more unpredictable than a woman's heart.

Oh kids, I just discovered the origins of Skeletor, according to the latest Masters of the Uinverse cartoon. His real name was Keldor, a purple-colored wizard who rebelled against the elders of Eternia. One day, he invaded the hall where the council of elders lived. So prince Adam's father arrived with Man-at-Arms to save the day. A fierce battle ensued, with the elders (including the hot-looking sorceress) fleeing to castle Greyskull. So Keldor had a tube of acid that was meant for the face of Adam's dad. Thankfully, he had a shield with him. So just as the Greek Hero Persus used it on Medusa, the shield had the acid back on Keldor's face. It doesn't make sense how a few drops of green liquid could ruin the whole face, but anyway Keldor screamed in pain and fled the domains of Eternia, vowing to return. By the time he came back to invade, his face was damaged beyound recognition and it looked like a skeleton.

Well I guess as for how Adam became HE-MAN, most of you know the story. I'm not really an MOU fan, since I had more robots in disguise kept in my toy-box. I can tell you how Starscream died, but I reckon the majority of my readers will think I'm insane.

The bitter after-taste...

I take comfort in the rain. It has a drowning effect on the most irritating of hangovers and even alcohol breaths. There have been countless images flooding my dreams, possibly due to the new contour pillow. It can be quite traumatic at times, if you ask me. They can be so vivid, you don't even think you are still asleep.

It was a night that I missed a couple of years back. We haven't been seeing alot of her. I guess as a bunch of friends, we're all drifting apart, for the right reasons I hope. There were drinks, pretty girls and celebrities on the rooftop bar. It was a visual feast, but I did feel a tad out of place. These people had the kind of life that splashed the headlines of the tabloids. Step into their world, and there may just be the chance you become fake and naked like them.

It was catching up with all the old friends (as usual). People who were once like you, only thing is you're now struggling for an escape while they can't get enough of it. The life moves around us in such a way and its not going to stop, so the logical thing to do was shake hands with these high-flyers and get their cards. You will never know when opportunity comes knocking on your door.

Now onto the girls, because after drinking and crapping, the only thing that could be done in silence was ogle at the free flow of eye candy that surrounded us. Of course, most of them were endowed with a healthy dose of TNA, be it natural or enhanced. Even the celebrities had noteworthy assests, albeit the FACT that they were much shorter in real life. It was a significant ego boost when I stood next to them, thus Leprachaun boy wasn't so small after all.

I saw my muse, my sister, and my brother whom I knew long before the spell of fame touched him. The muse kept her mystery, my sister looked aged enough for her birthday and my brother couldn't find true bonds in the midst of his happening existence. He was the guy everyone knew, but he was aimless after all the fun. We used to be on stage together, and his charisma made him shine brighter than all the rest. Still that night, in the midst all who called themselves his friends, he was all alone.

My best friend just wanted to get the best of the free liquor, by drinking the Graveyards the babes couldn't bear to finish. Idiot, this bar has no platform for you to dance all that alcohol out into your circulatory system, no wonder you get drunk faster.

2 Steps behind

Good evening everyone,

It is with sincere hope that I pray all of you have kept yourselves well this last year. Two days of the new year have passed, still my thoughts and spirits linger on in the past. I fail to account for the date, and thus question my friends for working ceaselessly. It often takes a beautiful face and a witty reply to remind me of the presence of time each day.

So upon the strike of midnight, I indulged myself in a film entitled 'The Shawshank Redemption'. Indeed, the essence of the plot invoked nearly-forgotten emotions not experienced in ages. As I witnessed the resolve of a man in the midst of his incarceration, his quiet defiance against the corrupt pressures of authority, and the bonds of friendship he shared with the inmates, it forged within me a distinct comprehension of the relationship between self, society, and companions.

With the hangover of insufficient sleep, I attended the wedding of an ex-colleague during mid-day. The medley of songs did not suffice to hush the growling of my famished stomach. Fortunately, the cuisine was not a disappointment, for my friends and I feasted in joy and fellowship, catching up on old times and complimenting one another on the bright prospects the future held for all of us.

By evening, I joined my buddies once more for a mild dosage of retail therapy. A socialite's party was imminent, and we had to present a gift to her. I enjoyed the company, even though there were only three of us. Feelings seemed to be what they were, years ago, where we could laugh and talk about all that had been happening, without the fear of detrimental repercussions. Perhaps if one attempts to weigh the differences between a group of three between a group of six, its much simpler and manageable.

So, I anticipate tranquil days in the weeks ahead, without the disturbance of the world beyond my own forbidden city. There are duties to self, as well as duties to the chamber, that need my attention. So till then my friends.

With deep regards,
J