A rush of cold blood into the head...

Hah. Never knew there would be souls reading "Pantheon City". Fret not, the story will be back once all the chapters have been written. Right now, the ending is proving difficult. I want blood to be shed, but the heroes in the plot seem to be too nice for that :P.

I had 2 disturbing dreams last night. They are too dark to be discussed anywhere. When I woke up this morning, it felt like a pack of wolves had torn something away.

Shit...it really spoils my day.



This song gets to me everytime. 15, 18 and now too close to bloody quarter-life crisis of 25, it just cuts deeper and takes even more.

Perhaps, I'm now jaded enough to know it is NEVER enough.

Take the train

If you're the kind of man (or woman) who has succumbed to the banality of linear narratives, here's a piece of advice: Skip this and wait for my next entry. After 2 hours on the couch, I wondered if there was an ending to this, much less a beginning.

According to the narrative of this film, 2046 is the room next to Chow's (Tony Leung) in a run-down motel. These two rooms, -46 and -47 are so close to each other that every night the occupants can hear and feel the humping and moaning on the other side. Apart from the nightly trysts between the characters, 2046 is the destination of the jaded and heartbroken. It is believed that if you embark on such a journey, nothing ever changes. However, is it really true things can be the same forever, or are the reactions simply delayed by 10 hours, 10,000 hours, or even 10 years?

Wong Kar Wai's work always has more traces of avant-garde than sci-fi. Even the emotions of 'androids' in the film are downplayed to reveal an indifferent side to humanity. Apart from the surreal backdrop, it bascially revolves around a down and out writer who makes muses out of desperate, complicated women.

Right, with all the difficult discourse over and done with, this movie stands out for the following reasons.

1) Brilliant cinematography. Lights, shadows and colour all blended to melancholic precision.

2) Chow's way with women. Tony Leung delivers a riveting performance as a pathological playboy. Be cynical enough to know that being hard up brings heartache. Get that part right, and go for the kill.

3) The moods of love. Bearing in mind Wong's earlier work 'in the mood for love', this takes the viewer on an exploratory trip on the faces of falling in and out of the L-word. Perhaps the most poignant part to note are the experiences Chow recollects about the 3 women. With Su (Gong Li), its about letting go of the past. Between Tak (Takuya Kimura) and Jingwen (Faye Wong) its about knowing if love will get back to you. Finally in Bai Ling's (Zhang Ziyi) case, you will continue loving someone, even though the other might never reciprocate.

4)Zhang Ziyi is damn good at faking orgasms.

And before I go, some delectable quotes for your own musings...

'If you don't take 'No' for an answer, there is a chance you might just get what you want'.

'You might not like me, but I like you all the same.'

'I know not what your answer maybe. I dread to know, but I need to know.'

Au revoir

argh.

To overcome my overhwelming obsession with the movie '300', I have deleted the previous post. The trailer has now replaced the breakdancing transformers on the side bar.

Getting my wireless up is madness. I missed my swim, I missed my tan. Damn.
And getting HER onto my mobile is even worse.

The official sex symbol of the United Kingdom.
Lena Headey, everybody.

Sweet Spartan Dreams people.

The currency of chance

This is not economics. Well it applies a few simple give and take principles, but it doesn't teach you how to get rich. Both men and women can read it. If you're a guy, you will learn how to find cheap deals to spend your money at nice holiday destinations around the world. If you're a girl, well you will realise just how easy it is to boost your own economy, anywhere in the world.

It all began when the pattern was a blur. Like a benign cyst, I felt it needed no attention. Probability can work wonders. It makes you feel as if a miracle or some paranormal paradigm has occured. In other words, you felt convicted to tell your neighbours that aliens descended on your porch.

But did they really come to earth, or was the airbase nearby testing some secret weapon?

So here I was, from the outside looking in. My beloved social circle, with friends I hold dear..and then some. Taking the scientific approach, I shrinked all of them into bite-sized army men. Ladies on the red, lads on the blue and gays on the green. To apply statistics to sex and dating, all you had to do was match every single red figure with a corresponding blue figure, and vice versa.

Here's an example.
Assuming, 1 red = 1 girl (name xx). XX for as long as she has known you, has changed boyfriends twice. You take one red and match it with 2 blue.

Assuming, 1 blue= 1 boy (name oo) OO, for as long as he has known you, has changed girlfriends twice. You take one blue and match it with 2 red.

For the gays, you need to be colour sighted to resolve them. Basically you just match them off with any army-man with any color. Remember to be correct on the gender.

Now here were my results...

Mean for red = 1: 2.67890515
Mean for blue= 1: 3.64490994
Mean for green = confidential

It seems that men do have more experience in the game than women. Then again, there was another factor. What about the players, those that have openly indicated it was all for the fun of it? I wondered if that would be a huge confounding variable. So as far as I could remember, I counted the players and put them off my study. Now my toys seemed like a small army waiting to be massacred.

So here are my results
Rates of mates for SERIOUS relationships.

Mean for red = 1: 3.38301876
Mean for blue = 1: 0.000000096831230

I was confused. On one hand, I know women take these things more seriously than men. They feel more and they think more too. However the discrepancy was just too large to be solely based on a single factor. Furthermore, if they were more sensitive creatures, shouldn't they be more cautious of the men that expressed interest in them? Thus, perplexed and hungry for the truth, I decided to consult a few experts in field, notably Dr Tay of Venusvaginus Institute in Los Angeles. She's a nice person who likes to laugh at my choice of research areas.

'Not surprising, girls like to delude themselves to a certain extent.'

'Oh that means some give chances more than others?'

'Definitely...just like the exchange rate in the market. From your data, your guys have tough luck with their partners. They play USD or some expensive currency. Your girlfriends are generous. They're chances are cheap, just like the baht or ringgit'

Ooooh. That's deep.

Next, I gave her the profile of the girl I wanted to date. For curiosity's sake, I just wanted to know the rates of my chances. Trust me, Dr Tay has a keen eye for women. She flipped through the pages before raising her eyebrows.

'Boy, Japanese currency leh. Super inflated'

'Huh?'

'It's the largest economy in Asia, but the currency is very very small. You can get one yen in Japan, but it can't even buy you toilet paper in Singapore. So yeah, one chance equals one yen. You proabably need a few lifetimes to buy her stuff.'

Now I know why my buddies love to go Bangkok.

divinity & perfection...

'It is wrong to look with desire upon a woman; but it is divine to admire her beauty'-Rabbi Yisroel (Israel) ben Eliezer

Yes, someone finally understands.

The greatest form of flattery anyone can give a woman is to make her immortal. Even when her person wastes away, her beauty remains. Remember Marilyn Monroe, Audrey Hepburn and even Princess Di.

Quentin Taratino has Uma Thurman

Zhang Yimou has Zhang Ziyi

Daniel Jones has Meg Ryan

Cradle snatcher Woody Allen has Scarlett Johansson

Paul Verhoeven has Sharon Stone (Seriously, this guy's a freaking genius. All his films blow minds...so yeah the smarter the dude the more deadly the babe)

Even my uncle who designs clothes has one...damn.

It runs in the blood and I think I need to get mine back.

Disclaimers:
1) A muse is your gift of inspiration to the world. Listen guys, writing cheesy, mushy and hair-raising songs, poems or even books for girls does not mean that they become your muse.

2)You don't fall in love with them and if you shag them, the fates won't be kind to you. They are supposed to give you ideas, not orgasms. Please, don't even try, not even if she allows it. If you don't believe me you can go and ask Jim Morrison.

3)In most cases, your muse won't know how much power she's got until people pay attention to her because of what you've done. By the time the media hitches on, you've given the greatest gift creativity could give.

4) If a girl doesn't compel you to make your work known to others, you're probably just in love or having a crush =)

a long long way to go...

And so, a great comedy it was. We should do it again next time aye?

Of course, it didn't lack the recollections of things past. There were some who never looked back the minute you left, but there were others whom you bonded with in the strangest of ways.

To the latter, I'm grateful =)

I took a step back for a few, but they never bothered to stop. These people are like A4 paper with sketches of bad ideas. You crumple them and score free throws in the bin.

There is one...which I so feel like giving up on. It totally rocks, but I just can't find the words for the visuals. All I get is silence. You won't know how it feels, when line after line just doesn't seem to fit. A part of you gets pissed, another part of you will keep on trying until someone else beats you to it.

For the last, you just want go down on your knees and break down like a child.

It is the best idea in my life, but I just can't seem to get it right.

'if only you knew,
it was all about you'

Let's match this

It's hard to find the right person, especially when feelings and urges get in the way. At the same time, you don't need a million light years to get the right connection. If you so choose, the rules of the game are pretty simple - find someone and make the right perception.

Like all other things in life, it's always easier said than done. Although I'm far from making the right conclusions 100% of the time, certain 'surface issues' which matter alot to other people don't bother me that much these days. Having loved and fallen out of love before, I suppose I've never got round to falling hard at first sight, much less giving back love when someone does all the right things. Perhaps I'm a selfish person, so I can't be bothered to go by the book.

Then again, idealism has been my strength, and my most crippling weakness. It makes one perpetually unsatisfied, and always in search for something more. It's also one of the reasons why I refrain from writing the words 'happily ever after' in my stories. Either the hero lives alone, or dies with his beloved. Tragedy seems more real doesn't it?

Will there ever be a perfect match? Being the cynic I am, I believe miracles of that kind do not exist. There is no 100% to start with, but if you can keep things going with just 5% or even less, that would be very good. When I watched 'Prime' a year ago, a few things struck a chord inside. They're from a conversation between Rafi (Uma Thurman) and her therapist Lisa (Meryl Streep). When Lisa finds out Rafi is having a relationship with her son, she offers a piece of advice few parents give to their own children.

"Falling in love is easy. All you need are your feelings. But staying together is hard work. Keeping love is work, marriage is work."

All right...I admit I am HOPELESS...

To all my emo kids,

Good night & good luck

=)

你可宁愿当她永远的好朋友，还是勇敢的做她一次的男朋友？