Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉！



Moments before this entry was posted, Australian farmers actually caught a huge cane toad 15 inches long. The average toad is almost as big as a normal man's dick. 15 inches is approximately 20 centimetres, that's close to the size of a small dog.

Animal aberrations are interesting. Maybe I should start collecting all these weird specimens and display them on my shelf, don't you think?

Now..on to a more arousing issue...




Hot right? Her name is Lilith, but she's pretty dangerous. According to the Talmudic Legend, she was Adam's first wife. Things didn't work out between them because everytime they had intercourse, she wanted to be on top. Adam, being man and born of huge ego, was displeased with her dominance. Refusing to give in, Lilith left Eden and copulated with demons instead.

As punishment for this abomination, 100 of her demon breed had to die everyday. Normal women would go mad and suicidal, but she'll just take revenge on the children of Eve. Therefore, newborn Jewish boys wear the amulet of 3 angels (Senoy, Sasenoy & Semangelof) to be protected from her wrath.

Judaism is scary. They have sacred and disturbing stuff. I hope heaven has a museum, maybe God will be free to explain all these weird specimens to me. That will be just so cool, because there will be just too much to see and learn.

For eternity? Definitely.

The Elite of our education system...

Took these from Michele's blog. The answers are worthy of the GEP program, for indeed they are truly and madly inspiring...(just click on the pics for a decent enlargement)

Can you differentiate the hang man?

Artistic crticism on curves...nice!

I would like to think this kid got the right answer.

The math of the Batman. Beautiful. Beyond Words.

Good night & good love.

date and no-date list

According to my textbooks, personality is a multi-dimensional facet of who we are. If that is true, I guess the careers and courses we choose will somehow reveal our implicit inclinations. While chatting with Kylie about one-hit wonders, I kinda realised that by the time an individual has fully adapted to his/her career, it's will be a good gauge of what that person is made of, no? I'm not proposing any theory, but just for sheer reading and laughing pleasure, here's a summary of observations I have made from the jobs the people out there are doing. For simplification's sake, I have divided them into the date and no-date list, just to show you I don't display discrimination, especially where qualifications are concerned. If you happen to fall in the 'no-job' category, do not be discouraged. I always leave alot of room for matters beyond first impressions :P.

The no-date list (jobs that deliver terrible impressions)

1)accountants
2)insurance agents
3)bankers
4)stock brokers
5)models
6)lawyers
7)IT specialists
8)engineers
9)taxi-drivers
10)stationery shop proprietors

The date-list (jobs that make me wanna ask you out)

1)artists/designers
2)theatre performers
3)musicians
4)psychiatrists
5)dancers
6)boutique owners
7)advertising/PR executives
8)doctors (not GPs)
9)art teachers
10)museum curators


The line (jobs that make you weird...but will interest me nonetheless)

1)film directors
2)vets
3)journalists/poets/novelists
4)rock stars
5)national athletes
6)chefs
7)seamtress
8)circus acrobat
9)lecturer of classical/medieval studies
10)geisha *grins*

For the love of?

Perhaps asking her wasn't the wisest thing to do. I shouldn't provide unnecessary pressure, especially if it's my right on my turf.

She's only a friend, just like the rest of the peeps coming.

Right? Yeah right.

Heck, the message has already been sent, and a reply has been received. Don't even think about it, not until a few more months pass you by. Romantics are supposed to lose their reaon, but not you. You're grounded, real and void of any expectation. Should these fluid humors reach the inner recesses of your heart, you know you are done for. Walk away, and be a happier soul, for life has so much more to offer besides broken hearts.

Then again, I can't wait to get back on stage. Those magic shoes are kicking once more, and the thought of being able to groove and glide to every rhythmn is enough to bring my dormant adrenalin on a high.

Just in case some of you might not have known, I'm going back to dance. Might be the very last performance, since the possibility of composing a thesis Down Under grows with each passing day. Won't get a chance to moonwalk for the crowd again. My room, after all, can only accommodate less than 10 people, and old bones are not good for popping and locking all day.

See? I actually saved the last dance for you.

But I fear someone will 'get served' that day.

'Maybe... I'm not such a good listener'

Ok girls (and some guys) it's time to swoon and ogle. Seriously, what's the deal with Adam Brody? Can't see myself falling for him even if I had a cunt. I mean he is just so...ordinary.

Oh yes, I watch O.C because of Melinda Clarke, not
those dumb-looking studs whose names I can barely recall.

Enough of celebrity-hating rants. Let's get on to something more sensitive, shall we?

Ever since Foucault was implanted into my psyche, I've become a natural film skeptic. When I check into my neighbourhood VideoEzy store, I spent more time browsing through the 'Foreign' and 'Animation' shelves. Mainstream Hollywood has vomitted so much trash, some genres have literally degenerated into a permanent state of sclerosis. Every moving picture can be de-constructed into traces of meaning that is copied over and over again. Nothing is original, because we live in world of cliches.

But I shall not judge, not for this flick at least. The trailer did show some promise. It's about a simple problem many guys out there face. Evolution has groomed us to talk and do more, but we are still humans, not apes. Feelings do matter, so quit the noise, action, and even the false pretense of silence whenever she's next to us. We assume too much because we think this world was made for us. However, we must never underestimate the unpredictable force of the opposite sex. There is a reason why hurricanes are named after girls and people never know what hit them until a tsunami drowns their homes.

Sometimes, all we need to do is just listen more. No conclusions, no assumptions, no hints of extreme delusions. Just listen. Hopefully, one fine day...

I'll be able to copy everything in her book, word for word.

"Listen to a woman when she looks at you, not just when she talks to you"-Khalil Gibran

'There are no ordinary moments.'

Let's just admit that once in a very long while, the box office delivers some noteworthy inspiration. While some films have plots that twist and turn like a labyrinth and others have a brilliant design that get you on a visual high, this motion picture based on Dan Millman's groundbreaking novel will do neither. If ever you get to watch it, DO NOT for a moment stop to ask yourself what life is all about, because its message has the power to change yours.

Especially if you wake up one day and realise you are losing everything, and losing them fast.

Imagine being the centre of attraction. You never lack a thing that life and love could offer. You have the best of all worlds and like what Millman described, 'You will only sleep alone when you absolutely want to.'


I guess all of us aspire to lead life on such a high. It is a clear sign of arrival, success and tangible power. But yet, we have never really looked inside ourselves or reflected on just how much we have to change to be like that, not until all that we possessed and enjoyed is taken away in the blink of an eye. In more ways than one, every proud person has a fallen angel that waits to be awakened.

And like the Biblical Job, enmeshed in self-pity and shame, you finally get to meet God. Well even if its not the big Man himself, a Socrates and an elusive 'muse-esque' character (Amy Smart) should be able to get a miracle working within you. Then again, even if divnities appear before us, our skepticisim will denounce their existence. We are such depraved contradictions that we can even spurn the supernatural even when we pray for it. It is sad but true that some people can live their whole lives without ever waking up.

Yet all it takes is just one moment. A moment where everything else is thrown out of our heads and hearts so that we may focus and listen to the voice inside. Only then, will you realise that you have truly woken up to feel and experience every single moment.

Every battle begins within. From every struggle, we shall find the answers in ourselves. That is the way of the peaceful warrior. I hope I can wake up to such a moment too, then perhaps everything that is broken can be mended and made new.



Cause for now, it's definitely more than just my heart that is broken.

'I'm a raped geisha'

My head was too heavy, no wonder I couldn't run. There were just too many things going on in there, all falling down on me...even before I could turn 25.

And everytime I think of the zero-fighters and fat bellies who have only one-day weeks in our local universities, I feel like cutting my own skin with broken glass.

They never have to worry about the government screwing their asses.

Behold, I'm well settled in the shit of my very own quater-life crisis. Self-fulfilling prophecies are highly dangerous. If you keep playing with them, they will definitely come true.

Honestly, I'm old and tired.
My eyes are failing me.
My heart is deceiving me.
And now my legs are giving up on me.

Khor was right. No one is a virgin because life screws us all.
But I hate being raped like that.

paka!

Southass Asian Birds

It's too easy to become frustrated over normal humans these days. They think they're so smart they just end up screwing one another. If not for today, I doubt there will be much to remind me that this earth we live in can still be a better place.

It was a long day. Although the kids screamed, cried and struggled as I carried them away from danger, I was truly at peace. With a restless heart, piles of work and assignments lingering from afar, it was something much needed, but ever so elusive. Indeed, autistic children are a wonder to behold. Every single movement and utterance they make defies all forms of social convention, but you are always compelled to be there for them. One seeks to understand what goes on inside that strange mind, even if no one will ever figure it out.

And here's some 'verbatim' for all of you to sample. It's how the kids described the birds...

'Where do you want to go? (repeats 5 times) Do you want to see Southass Asian birds?'

'Hey! The harlots can say hallow!'

'I want to see the two-guns & pearly cunts!'

Oh my. They only made me love them more.

By the way, I totally loved the falcon show. In a flash of inspiration, I feel like writing in to be a bird trainer. Maybe I can work at the bird park before I leave for Australia? If that doesn't work out, I'll probably take it up as a past time Down Under. Beginners usually practice with the Harris hawk. It's like a smaller version of the Golden Eagle, but beautiful nonetheless.

Haha, I'm really starting to dream away. Goodnight.